The Kyrgyzstan Affair – Sends and bails in the Karavshin Valley


Kyrgyzstan 2025

By Richard Halsey Pic by Wesley Antonites

“Kyrgyzstan?. . . Where’s that?”
“Isn’t that where Tommy Caldwell and Beth Roddengot shot at by rebels?”

These were common queries about our foray to the granite slab-lands of Central Asia. But our tale may (or may not) reveal answers to more pressing questions. How much can you shiver at a belay before hypothermia sets in? How many abseils can you do in a day? How many cans of fish do seven men need for 23 days?

Herewith the most scruffy member of the group shares some musings.

Squeaky’s log, 2 August 2024. “Preparations are complete and our flight boards soon. With enough big cams to weigh down a sumo wrestler, the newly constructed Poo Porter 1000 (patent pending), and 200 metres of tat – we are set to conquer wide cracks, shit in style, and bail hard. What our sausage fest lacks in gender diversity, it makes up for in other essential Big Wall requirements. Our team will no doubt have the most impressive moustache, the best bread maker, highest ratio of jugglers and hopefully enough skill to back-off less than we succeed. It would be nice to stand on top of some pointy things – high above the river and a bit closer to the stars.”

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